Wonder

I know I havent blogged hardly as much in the past year as I used to in the early days!  And I really do hope it'll flow again.  This season has been one of holding onto the pictures, the testimonies, the revelations that Holy Spirit will continue to unravel and waiting to write it out.  This season has been one of walking through things so deep that I've been at a loss for words to even begin to tell it.  It's like if I type it out, the words wont do justice for what really happened.  But here I am, pen in hand, or computer at fingertips, and just sharing as it comes...

Jesus just keeps rocking our world in ways we couldn't have dreamed up on our own.  The more we run after Him, or moreso with Him hand in hand, the more He reveals Himself and I can't do anything but keep falling in love.  I wanted to share with you something so deep and personal and some might not think so but wow, how precious in my heart it is!  If you've followed us for long, you know my hearts dream and desire since I was 16 years old has been to go to Congo.  If I let my mind go to the night it all happened, there in my bedroom in the year 2000, when Jesus crashed in on my life and I had a radical encounter with HIS heart, I can still feel the urgency and longing of my heart to go like I did then.  I wont get into the nitty gritty details but I will share that since that night, I have asked Jesus when I get to go.  The beginning of every year I'll ask if it's the year to go.  I've learned, sometimes the hard way, that's its always best to wait on Papa God's perfect timing.  Not moving too quickly and at the same time, not delaying.  I haven't really had the slightest idea of how or when I would go, but I've just held it in my heart and not letting go.  I know its the same desire He is putting in so many across the world to go and be and do, just as Jesus did and does still today.  He is looking for radical obedience for us to awaken to our destiny and calling.  He isn't looking for the qualified but for those that'll lay down their life at any cost.  I know that this urgency to go into a place is also put in many others for a specific time or place.  Sometimes that fierce love is put in you for the one across the street, the child in your class, those trapped in modern day slavery, the man on death row, the orphan, the widow, the poor, the ones in government, and the list goes on right?  But He puts this fire in you and maybe it's for today, well I know it's for everyday, but maybe its something specific for a year from now or even 14 years from now.  But he asks you to not abort this calling.  Our first fierce love is to Jesus, yes.  That is 24/7.  And its in that place where it's just you and Him that He will bring the fire and keep fanning that fire that He puts in you.  Hope you are followin me here.

Moving to Africa was out of such an intense love for the one that first loved me, Jesus.  That was the simplest and craziest explanation.  And every step of going more places and reaching more people for the sake of His name, has always come with stretching and often times of testing.  This year I didn't really ask Papa God if this was the year but it was very much fresh on my heart.  I then dreamed one night that I went into Congo and had met up with some people to go in.  Up until this point, I wasn't sure when or how or with who I would go in with the first time I went.  In the dream though it was clear who it was but I held onto it and wanted to make sure it wasn't just my soul wishin it to happen.  Soon after, the leader in our home church in Texas saw in a vision one night at one of the gatherings in our church that this was the year.  She laid it out plainly and asked one of my dearest friends to communicate it all to me.  It lined up exactly with the dream I had.  I was astonished at how incredibly faithful Holy Spirit was to bring that much detailed confirmation.  Even though He's done it like this many times in the past, it's still just as incredible each time He speaks so clearly and personally.  He just loves to love us.  Without going crazy and shouting from the rooftop from every house I could (which I did jump around and dance a bit, I must admit!), I went low and asked for the next step.  My incredible husband affirmed it as well and was willing to stay with the kids while I would go on a short term trip this year.  The people I had seen in my dream sure enough were going this year and sure enough had a spot on a team that would be working with them and welcomed me to come.  Could my heart be any more fuller?!  I think not!  But then the resistance came, the testing came.  When I was 16, the response was easy to say yes.  I was young, was more naive, wasn't married and didn't have children.  (not that it isn't hard for some in a place similar to that, but it was for me)  I knew that I knew that this first trip would be just me going from our family but fear tried to knock on my door.  Fear does not play nice either.  It creeps in when you least expect and we must not take it lightly but destroy it with that fierce love put there by Jesus.  Once you start giving attention to fear, it'll just get worse and bring more deception.  So I was aware and was quick to let Jesus destroy the dumb lies.  It's an all out war for the souls to be harvested here in the end time.  I've never been more convinced than now that Jesus' return is oh so soon.  There is an injustice like never before.  But there is so much HOPE that needs to go into the darkest places in the earth.  As the dark gets darker, the light is getting lighter!  If you look at the statistics in Congo, you'd know why the fear struck.  It's the rape capital of the world and worst place for a woman or little girl to live.  There's a brutal physical war taking place and their most used weapon in war?  Rape.  But I am convinced that there is nothing too hard or too dark for Jesus.  His radiant love is already bursting into villages in this nation and I'm so thrilled I get to go this year to be a part of bringing more hope, love and justice.  There's a team I'll meet up with this June from an organization called Burn 24/7.  We'll bus it into Congo form Rwanda for 10-12 days.  It'll be a team of radical lovers of Jesus who will sing worship and intercede in the nation with ground breaking prayers.

I had to be reminded though of that first love encounter I had with Jesus when I was young and also the radical obedience to say yes to Congo when I was 16.  The fire never goes away but it can sometimes burn down because of maybe a phase of life we are in.  But God reminded me not to loose my sense of wonder for Him and for the nation of Congo.  I have dreamed for years of what that nation can be and have prayed many prayers.  The scripture about having faith like a child comes to life once again to me as I keep pressing on to run this race.  I watch my littles, who are now 6, 4 and 1 years old.  And daily their eyes are full of so much wonder as they discover so many things in life.  Especially to watch the joy and innocence on my one year old when the most simple things happen like blowing bubbles, swinging, seeing me walk in a room after being gone 20 minutes.  They have faith and wonder that I don't want to loose for Jesus and for the people and nations he's called me and my family to.  To go along with all I'm saying, there's this incredible new cd out from bethel.  After Papa God spoke to my heart on all that's above, I listened to a song on this new CD that put it so simply.  Hope it'll bless your socks off too so here it is below...