more love

Well I have malaria, again. As soon as its gone i'll be taking anti-malaria pills. I went to our doctor last night and he found treatment that can be taken long term. I guess after the third time in a few months, its time i take them!
God truly works all things for the good just as He promises in His word. Its been a very challenging past week. There are some things trying to cause division in our ministry. Also we're struggling with the government officials to get chidlren into our home. On top of that I get malaria, and a pretty hard hit of it. But through it all i can say that i have rejoiced in the Lord, giving Him all the praise and glory that He is so worthy of. Its through times like this that I have to step back and say, what is it Lord that you want to teach me? What areas in me can I surrender and trust you to change? God is so trustworthy, and He is such a gentelman. He doesnt force Himself upon us but waits till we come and He is so faithful to meet us where we are. Its in these times that i realize my dependency must be completely on Him, The Rock. Satan tries to throw accusations, lies, temptations, but I find encouragement in Ephesians 3:14-19.
"for this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love may be able to comprehend with all the siants what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filld up to all the fullness of God."
i can have all the knowledge of Christ, all the theologies, doctorines and so on but there's a love in Christ that surpasses that. I so long to know it deeper. There's always more and there's always enough! Through every cirumstance I wait anxiously for more revelation of His love so that i'd be grounded more in it. Then there's always the yucky part through trials, bringing up the junk in me. But God does it so lovingly and the end result is Jesus. There's a book by Bill Johnson im reading. I like how he says... Christ-likeness-excellence with humility is the real goal. I want that to be our focus in all we do with Mattaw, the children, school, churh, clinic, ect. Through all of this there's been many great mentors in our life that have given great wisdom on the situation. We're so thankful for that. But ultimately we look to Jesus first for our answer, for our peace, for our encouragement and hope. In most cases im on the phone calling someone in the states after something difficult happens, asking for direction, but with this situation its been the oposite. God has stirred such a desperation within me for Him that all i can do is look up.
This past Sunday I had the priveledge to speak at the fireplace. The main message I pray I got across what that the first call is to our First Love, Jesus. The call is to Jesus. "Abide in me and I in you and you will bear much fruit" the call is to abide, then you bear fruit. "come to me all who are weary and i will give you rest" the call is to come, then you get rest. "follow me and i will make you fishers of men". the call is to follow Him and then youll be fishers of men. I talked about a fire from God that consumes us. Sometimes its like coals within us burning. Once consumed with Him all you want to do is give your life to Him, not orphanages, the poor, or widowed, but to Jesus. From that comes the call to the poor, ect. At times the coals die down and we need the fresh breath of God to blow on them to light up a fire again with us. I'm asking for that again. More power, more passion, more love, more of Jesus in my life.

Once again didnt mean to write this much. I'm sitting in bed wtih malaria while its raining outside so what more can i say. Please pray i'd be healed quickly!

Created for this,
Kimberly